Friday, June 19, 2009

The Ultimate Mickey

So, we made it. After many years of wondering "when is the right time?" and "when, financially, is the best time to go spend shitloads of money?" we decided that the Summer of 2009 was the best time to hit Disney World. Now..I'll footnote, my parents, saints that they are, footed the bill. They took the 4 of us, themselves, and niece and nephew. 8 peeps. Airfare, hotel, 3 days at the parks, mealplans, and then 7 days at the beach with our own condo...God Bless 'Em..tough grandparent shoes to fill someday, ya know??

However, we still managed to be drained roughly $2k.

But it was worth every dime. It was.

Excuse ramen noodles are done cooking....I'll be right back...

Going to Disney...As a parent, as an Adult. I don't know where to begin. It's overwhelming. The mechanics. The SHEER amounts of people, the WORKINGS of the place. It's downright creepy and in the same move comforting too. I like it, but I question it, you know?

Let's move along. We show up to Magic Kingdom on a Saturday. On 2 hours of sleep. And that's OK. The first thing..the VERY first thing Husband and I start silently noticing are the large amounts of red shirts everyone seems to be wearing. And the large amounts of men that seem to be wearing them. And the large amounts of men, wearing the red shirts, that are holding the hand of the red-shirt-wearing man next to him. Upon close inspection of said red shirts...we read: WALT DISNEY WORLD GAY DAY 2009!! It WAS Magical, Indeed....

Quite honestly, I've never seen so many shirts in my life...and there's nothing like watching the Magic Kingdom Parade at night on Gay Day, I'd say....
The only problem was there seemed to be a lot more adults in line that day to pose with all the Princesses, making it rough for the little ones.

There's more...but...well..

Ok..the meal plan. We. NEVER. FIGURED. OUT. THE. MEAL. PLAN.

And I'm quite sure the cashiers have never figured it out either. I would just hand them my card and shrug with my hands in kind of an outward pose like "eh? whaddya think?" Kind of like being in a foreign country with foreign currency that you just throw at them and you just hope you give the right amount and get the right amount back and don't look like a complete shmuck.

On our last morning, we were just trying to buy out our credits and just get some cereal boxes and some bottles of water, and a few nanners and Vidishyma from the Ukraine, or whatever just slumped her shoulders...and said,

"dees ezz not a brakefest. You aff to ave meelk weeth the ceereal."

Well, we were leaving for the beach, and I didn't want to take the "meelk" with us on the drive, so I just said..

"Pretend the milk is there, it's all good, we don't need it, I'll just put one of the waters back instead"

And she slumped her shoulders again..

"I can geet in huge trouble for thees"

I said ..

"It's ALL GOOD!! I'll put the water back, pretend the milk is there, but it's not, really!!!" (I'm TOTALLY smiling by the way)

She's all like..

"No, no, keep the waterrzz....ezz ok" looking all bummed....

So...anyways...I was all bummed all morning, worrying about Vidishyma from the Ukraine..

Disney, I think, uses some aerosol drug that makes people want to buy their shit...

All I'll say is, that when we left, I was wanting more Disney store time. And I was trying to figure out how I could make that happen. I was picturing the Earport store at the airport, a long 7 days away after some time at the beach, as a mental calming tool.

It dawned on me, like a ray of light, that there was a Disney Store in OUR VERY OWN MALL less than 3 miles away from my house...I'd have that TOO!!!

Everything was going, to be...alright.

It was all, going to be...ok.

What the hell??

I'm happy to report, the drug was out of my system withing 36 hours.

It seems that even though Disney administers their mind-controlling aerosol drug "during" the stay, it seems to have a very short shelf-life, and the residual effect is minor. The liver, on a good day, seems to metabolize the drug in short order.

I harbor no ill-will for being slipped the ultimate, Mickey, if you will..

All in all, Disney World is amazing. Our weekend was gold.

I dig that the magic is still out there..