Monday, October 5, 2009


So, it's about 20 minutes after putting the boy and girl to bed. They are like litter mates, and still sleep together most nights. Get over it.

Girl comes out to find me and starts talking :

Girl: So, mommy? I was just about to fall asleep, and as usual, weird things pop into my head. Scary things, and now I can't fall asleep, but I don't want to tell you about it.

At this point, 5,267 items that qualify as "weird/scary" come to my mind.

Me: Well, why don't you try to tell me, I swear it will make you feel better to get it out of your head.

Girl: Well, I don't feel comfortable telling you.

(I'm thinking now, of like 4,963 more things, wondering if I should have the police nearby, you know, to take a report)

Me: I think you should try, honey.

We spend the next 5 minutes in negotiations..

Girl: Well, ok. I know this is wrong, and I shouldn't be doing it..but. Well, sometimes at night, when the Boy falls asleep, I play with his face.

Me: Play with his face?

Girl: Yeah, you know, I squish his cheeks up, or I open his eyes up real big. I just make faces. And I KNOW it's wrong mommy. But sometimes I just do it.

Please trust me when I tell you the images in my head at this point are beyond hysterical, but also troubling.

Girl: And so, I was starting to fall asleep, and these pictures came to my head, you know, like when cartoon characters eyes get all BIG and RED and there are like, red LINES in their eyes. And I started thinking of Boy's eyes getting like that, and now I'm all freaked out.


Me: Ok, honey. Ok. I think you should at this point, go back to bed and lie there, thinking things like "Boy's body is his body". "Boy's face is not something to play with when he's sleeping".

And then I threw in the motherly..."You know, you could really hurt him by doing that". Just for guilt's sake.

Girl: I know, Mommy...I know...(as she's shaking her head, looking down). I know it's wrong, and I'm sorry, Mommy.

Me: Good luck to you, Girl. Sweet dreams!!!

So. I held it together. I don't even think I realized how weird and funny and awful it was. The poor boy, just dead to the world, as his sister is contorting his face in the dark.

Goes to show you, one can't assume what "weird" qualifies to a 9 year old girl. Weird is not screwing around with a sleeping boy's face at night. Weird is imagining his eyes going all bloodshot and cartoon-ey afterwards..

1 comment:

Gwen said...

HaaHa! i think that b4 Tom gets to be 9 they might need to sleep seperately. ;-) btw, your to paranoid! but you already know that don't you? ;-)