Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Fight of Flight

There are certain things in life that really help you get to know a person.

One of those things is flying with someone. I got a quick glimpse into Husband's soul the first time we ever flew together..

It was on our way to Bermuda for our Honeymoon. I'll be honest, what do you really know of a person?? But what I thought I knew, was, this guy has travelled the world. Flying should NOT be a problem. NO. Never crossed my mind.

So, when I decided to make small talk, something along the lines of : "Boy, it sure is noisy when you sit over the wings, it's like, you don't know WHAT the Hell that noise is all about!"

I got this response:

"Would you just shut the fuck up PLEASE???"

Now, any, and I mean ANY OTHER person who would have said that to me would have had that tray table stowed in the upright position so far up their ass, the airline attendant would have had to be a proctologist to pass out drinks and peanuts. Seriously.

However, you did not see the look in Husband's eyes. This was a pure Fight or Flight scenario. I let it go.

Apparently, Husband, is not, a fan, of flying.

Everytime we fly, or rather, take off, and land, Husband's eyes are shut tight. And he looks very very calm. He looks like any other traveler catching a few z's. However, I assure you he is praying prayers worthy of an entirely new book in the Bible. He's THAT good. He ALONE is keeping the plane intact and free of fireballs and watery graves.

On our most recent trip, I get this on after our first landing :

Husband : Does this guy know what he's doing??

Me : Why?

Husband : He just kept BANKING and BANKING. And speeding UP and slowing DOWN.

Me :

Husband : Seriously, I don't think he knew what he was doing....

Me : Well, we are now walking around in a different airport...

On another flight, I noticed someone say behind me, "She passed out!". And, indeed, some lady had passed out in the back. Husband hadn't noticed that tidbit as he was playing Hangman with Daughter. What he did notice was the voice over the PA announcing "CODE RED" and then people running to the back...

It was later that he told me, oh God, I'm laughing as I write this, I'm sorry Husband...

Husband : I heard CODE RED, and I thought we had 5 minutes and we were going DOWN.

Me : Seriously?? You didn't notice the people running with the medic bag?

Husband : Well, when I saw people running, I then thought they were having to tackle someone in the back.

Flying just really sucks for him. I think the worst is the banking. We take off, and Husband thinks we have trick pilots, because he'll look at me and say:
Husband : Why does he just have to immediately go into a roll like that??

And everytime we bank for a landing, he just turns to me with this look like, "What the Fuck? Who let the Blue Angels pilot on here?"

You know the look..

He does alright..I'm not a fan of flying either, as I've disclosed in an earlier story. But watching Husband certainly takes my mind off my own anxiety. And I thank him for that.

We all have our something. At least he can sleep with a closet door open at night...


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