Monday, February 2, 2009

Thankyou, and Goodnight

I've had a week to chew on contemplate. I've had a week to think "Where, on Earth, do I even begin?" and I still don't think I've narrowed it down...but I have to get it out..and get it out I shall :

The Weather Reports:

Ok. Where do I begin? Last week, we had some snow. Ok? Now, we live in a snow-potential place. There is the potential for snow. It. Could. Happen.

It. Did. Happen.

And thank THE LORD for the Storm Team out there, with their snow shovels as props, standing on the side of roads to report, that it is, snowing.

These lifesavers, are standing on the side of the roads, creating a visual distraction to drivers, who are already experiencing a numbing sensation in their crotch from the amount of grip their hands have applied to the steering wheel of their vehicles in an attempt to just stay in the direction of forward. Forward. That's it. It does not help to have some big bright light on the side of the road with a toolbox standing there, wearing a giant parka with huge reflective stripes adorning it, shoveling snow, in a live broadcast to people at home who can look outside and see that IT IS SNOWING.

First off, GET off the side of the road. Please. Ok? You shoveling the snow just looks stupid. If you want to shovel snow, go shovel some old ladies' sidewalk.

Ok. Now I live in Indiana. We are called Hoosiers. There are random stories as to why we are called Hoosiers, and me telling you why will only set me further off the edge. Just know that we are. It's stupid. And the StormTeam people just LOVE LOVE LOVE using that word as much as possible. "Hoosiers are making the slow crawl home tonight!" "Hoosiers have some shoveling to do!" "See why the snow may be good news for some Hoosier schoolchildren!!" (as they knowingly smirk that "snow day" smirk) "Hoosier Headaches!!" "HOOSIER HOOSIER HOOSIER"

OH my God...I swear...I want to go to the exit ramp of I-69 and 96th street where StormTeam Sally is reporting and grab that shovel and shov.....


They actually talked about how.. "How would Hoosiers handle a snow event like this, if one were to happen, in 2012 when the SuperBowl was about to take place?"

They did. They really did. If the kids weren't watching, I'd have thrown the remote through the TV.

They always go to the Salt Barn. Always. Everytime. They show the snow plows loading up. I don't know why this is interesting after the 5th time. But I've seen it, like 9,472 times. I'm intimately familiar with the Hoosier Salt Barn at MLK and 21st street.

I mean. They spend all morning talking about it. It's snow. It's snow. It's snow. It's been around. It happens. Every year. Couple of times a year.

If you are talking a storm of Locusts? Maybe you have my attention. Asteroids pelting rooftops? I'm on it. Let me know when and where. And I'm glad to know that there will be snow. It's helpful. It is. But, I noticed that it was snowing. I also noticed it had NOT stopped.

I noticed it got taller. And taller. So weird.

That's all you need to do. Come on. Say. It's going to snow. A lot. It will stop _________. And be done.

Please? Seriously? It's so....gross, the way you are doing it.

One year, there was this day they predicted snow? It didn't snow. They had the bright light shining on the toolbox wearing her parka on the side of the road. She actually said this :

"I'm standing here on US 31 in Westfield..and right now, it's not snowing."

She did. She did. Why? Why did she have to do that?

Is it just me? Is this what the "others" want? The other people watching the news??

Usually, I only hear other people just go "what the??" when they are watching the news...

So it's either, I'm surrounding myself with like-minded people, and the masses out there are just hungry to be spoon-fed crap (I haven't counted that theory out yet) or the News People just have their heads very very far up their asses they don't notice that the rest of us..."notice".

ThankYou, and GoodNight


1 comment:

Bella@That damn expat said...

I have a serious problem with meteorologists.
The problem being they can't predict it if their life depended on it.
I can almost see them using a magic ball.